Missing home..

 miss home.. not the place where i grew up.. but the only place i have felt at ease, safe and loved..

i miss the smell of the of the morning dew and the freshly cut grass as i make my way to my early morning class.. (having taho and ciggie for brekkie, hehe)

i miss sunday afternoons.. when the oval is closed.. and the road is covered with dried acacia leaves.. i can walk freely in the middle of the road.. not minding anything.. just me caught up in my own reality..

i miss rainy days there, when classes are suspended, i’ll just curl up in bed, a good book in my hand and go places..

i miss seeing the sunflowers in the university ave during summer.. standing proud under the midday sun.. welcoming everyone as they pass by..

i miss my little thinking spot, that water tank by the sunken garden, near the library.. i remember going there, sitting in that spot everytime i feel bad. I remember this one time that i really felt depressed, i sat there that afternoon, it’s a wednesday, not that many people around.. i sat and i cried ’til i can’t cry anymore, then a gentle breeze blew, and the tree above me shed its tiny leaves.. tons of tiny leaves falling gently around me.. it’s magical.. i felt better that day..

yup i miss that place a lot, and how it makes me feel. lots of good memories there, that thinking about the place still brings a smile (or tears sometimes) in my face.

i’ll be back soon.. i’ll walk by the old paths, rekindle the past, reminisce the good times, i’ll think of you, i’ll think of us and how we used to be, then i’ll seat again by that water tank, cry all my tears (i sometimes thought that i’ve cried enough but i know there still more inside that i can only release when i’m there), then when i’ve cried it all out, i’ll stand up, take one last look around.. and leave.

with that, i know i can really start anew.

but as for now, all i can think of is coming home.